At the start of this Fast, I reflected on how the Fasting Rule we had decided for ourselves as a family is quite similar to the eating habits I have when I'm simply trying to be healthy. In fact, it is far less strict than what some people maintain throughout their lives, simply for the sake of a healthy lifestyle.
This had me wondering about the actual benefit of the change in eating habits during this season. What was the real point, besides the vague spiritual benefits we're all aware of? What was so different about the fasting Christian, when so many "influencers" implement far more difficult habits simply to be able to flaunt their bodies online and rake in money? What was so different, when even the Strict Traditional Version of the Fast is far more permissive in quantity and choice than what many children around the world are actually able to eat? This is a harrowing thought!
This comparison started to clarify things in my mind. The point wasn't the food or the immediate results of these eating habits. So many people sacrifice far more than what we do during the Great Fast, but for the sake of being adulated by the world. In other words: to be of the world. So many of us Catholics also waste our energy trying to physically separate ourselves from the world, without every focusing on growing in holiness. In other words: to be outside the world.
Aren't we missing the point when we do either of these things? It is true that Christ does not want us to be of the world, but He also does not ask us to act like the world does not exist. On one hand, prideful fasting can easily serve to lift our status in this world, and on the other hand, our fearfulness of sin can also easily lead us to hide ourselves and our gifts from the world, like a hidden lamp.
Of course, I would have loved to leave it at that and have an easy Fast for the remaining weeks. "She lived happily ever after, fasting perfectly, blinded by pride." God did not wish for me to be blissfully ignorant, so Melkite Toddler got sick. Within two days, I had gone from "even the strict fast is easy" to "we're breaking the fast and having chicken soup tonight to fend off this illness". Within two days, I went from such assurance in my ability to fast, to trying to soothe a tired, grumpy and sickly toddler. That is when God really drove the point home: It isn't about the food. The little rules of fasting are meant to help us, while being very much in the world, to redirect our gaze to Heaven. It was about thinking of God and making Him the purpose of everything: planning a meal, thinking about prayer times, being reminded of those He saw as Himself: the poor, the hungry, the naked...
He does not care if we eat lentils or chicken soup. What should it benefit me if I ate all the lentils of the world with a side dish of Pride? Is it not better for me to eat chicken soup while humbly relying on God during my child's sickness and my own fatigue?
The point is not to disregard the Fast. Quite the opposite, it is to remind us that while we can be eating lentils, we should remember their purpose: to redirect our hunger, our energy and our gaze to God and our brothers and sisters in need. That is far more difficult.
We are reminded of the beautiful encounter of Christ with the Woman at the Well. Everyone else was focusing on avoiding her, and her avoiding them. A Samaritan, after all, couldn't mingle with faithful Jews. A woman couldn't mingle with men either. However, as she was trying to sneak in secret to the well at noon, Christ walked into the darkness of her life, addressed her face to face, and entered into her world. He entered into this daily, menial, seemingly-insignificant activity of hers, to draw water, in order to redirect her gaze to Himself, the Water of Life. He fully entered her life, and that is why the Church named her Photini: Greek for "Illuminated One". She remained very much in the world, even going back to her village to preach, but she started living a life directed not to the things of this world, but to Heaven.
May we all encounter Christ in such a manner this Great Fast.
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